By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men can be all uphill. If you are involved in divorce the feelings that come out from this can be so intense that you may feel like you are about to be emasculated. At that time, many men lash out in anger – they have a testosterone moment and divorce rage erupts.

This anger could range from throwing the new flat-screen TV through the window, to taking a ball bat to the car headlights so she can’t leave, taking a friend with you to push your way into her new apartment to get some things straight, to a black eye, and other such inappropriate behavior. The thing is this type of behavior is just what she needs to in essence emasculate you in a legal way by having you arrested and humiliating you in court. If there is ever a time that you need to rein in emotions and testosterone reactions it is in a divorce situation when you are feeling the most burdened down, the most like you want to do something. The something you must do is control the emotions, but how?

I’ve talked previously about finding power phrases to keep you centered and help you avoid depression, the same kind of response can handle this. The most common way of describing this activity is self-talk.

What kinds of things do you say to yourself?

Most of us have a more or less constant conversations going on with ourselves. We get a break when we are asleep, at a movie, a concert, or other entertainment. It lessens when we are at work or otherwise concentrating and yet it is there. The voices that come up occasionally are new thoughts or inspiration but for most these kinds of thoughts are blocked by the negative voices within. Perhaps by expressions we heard from our families, or from being called names when we were young. Worst of all is our own voices of condemnation when we have failed at something, or didn’t approach a person we were interested in, or take the deal we should have taken because we were afraid.

Some silence those voices by destructive behavior, others can’t get past it and don’t sleep well, and many other less than useful ways. If you are involved in divorce perhaps the voices condemn you for your failings in the relationship, maybe you become the last guy, or last woman that anyone would ever want and all is lost.

When these conversations in your head erupt you need to be ready to answer? You don’t even have to believe these answers when you start as long as they convey a positive message and a positive answer for you. You will come to believe them and come to take positive action on them. Your homework for this article is consider what you want post-divorce and find some dialog to answer the negatives with. Get a motivational quotes book and pull some quotes out that speak to you and have them ready to add to and control this inner dialog with.

So when you are about to take a ball bat to her car or throw the TV out the window have an answer ready – you do not have to act in an insane way that will entrap you, you don’t have to act in a way that will figuratively emasculate you at the end of the divorce.

You need to learn the words to say to yourself to rein things in and put yourself in control. You can take control of yourself and your divorce. This doesn’t mean that everything that happens will be exactly to your liking, but if you take charge of yourself, your life, and your divorce you can get an outcome that you will like.

Successful divorce for men starts with the mental game, it means learning the steps of the process so you never feel lost, it means the mental game and what to say to yourself, it means learning the strategies and tactics that will produce a winning outcome: http://www.formendivorce.com/

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It is a very bad thing that marriage, which was once called the main pillar of our society has now reached the point where about 1/2 of all marriages will end in divorce.  For many men it will happen and if it has happened to you you need Advice.  Divorce for men is different than for women.  Men are usually the losers in a divorce but it doesn’t have to be.

Divorce Advice For Men – 7 Ways to Overcome “The Men’s Divorce Penalty”

By Renee Pullman

Whether you like it or not, divorce for men is an uphill battle. There are cultural issues involved here including a man’s own beliefs about the possibility of prevailing in divorce court.

Here are 7 tips and divorce advice for men that will help you get the outcome that you want.

1. Know your outcome. It’s important that you know what you want out of the divorce.
2. There may once have been love but now she is out for herself and you must take the same approach. This doesn’t mean screaming matches. If she vents let her. Stay calm, a big part of divorce is keeping your head together so you can make reasonable choices and decisions.
3. Stay away from the trivial. I know a former couple who burned through thousands of dollars fighting over who got the dog. You may love your dog but you really don’t want to fight over this. The only ones who win are the lawyers.
4. Manage your own case. You may have a lawyer but you need to educate yourself so you can manage him or her. Your lawyer may be a good one but you are the person who is most interested in your divorce. Don’t try to just outsource this but understand the process.
5. If you and your wife are on otherwise good terms consider mediation it can save lots of money. If you decide to do this then it becomes even more important to understand the process.
6. Realize that women file for divorce at twice the rate that men do. Consider that you can turn this to your advantage in the proceedings.
7. Keep positive, more than one divorce has been lost because the man became depressed. Do what it takes to get yourself out of this. See the future as you want it to be after the divorce and keep this vision in mind. If it is powerful enough this will not only keep you positive but it will also help attract that outcome.

Divorce advice for men – get insider information that will allow you to come out of divorce court without losing everything.

http://www.ForMenDivorce.com is divorce advice, tactics, and strategy for men. It is how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

Net Notes On Divorce

The New York Times reports that the divorce rate is not as high as once thought, but AARP reports that divorce for men over 50 is on the rise.

Men’s divorce rights are trampled on by no-fault divorce laws.  These laws allows people to a) commit adultery, b) file for divorce and c) be rewarded for their indiscretions by receiving their spouse’s money.  For men to get a fair deal they need to understand their rights and get support so they can keep their head.  Divorce advice

>> Good Divorce Advice For Men

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When a couple breaks up it really sucks.  Many men are willing to do just about anything to get their girlfriends back.  If it is your lost relationship that attitude is part of the problem because it can lead to despiration.  Despiration is not attractive on either man nor woman.  So steip back and learn how to get your girlfriend back, learn how to save a relationship and trust me, it’s not by being a wimp.

Think about these things and be honest about whether or not the relationship is worth saving.  Not all relationships should be saved.  Also be willing to honestly admit whatever part you had in the relationship falling apart and be willing to make some changes to your behavior.

If it’s worth saving then you need psyhcological techniques to deal with the problem you face.  Knee jerk calling, and borderline stalking will not get the job done.  The methods you need are easy once you know what they are.

>>Get Your Girlfriend Back

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Keep a woman happy and your life is good.  Let things drift too far away from that for too long and it’s no good for anyone.  She has a part to play in this too.  But these things are two way reciprical deals, what one does for the other will be returned (I’m not talking about a demanding relationship but one built on a desire to build each other up).  The idea is not unlike that expressed by Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets”  His charactor said: “You make me want to be a better man.”  That’s the relationship you need, the relationship she needs.  Make each other happy and you’ll get there.

You keep a woman happy, connect with her, communicate, and keep a close emotional connection. Hear her out before you step in to solve the problem. Then don’t step in. Ask her questions to draw her out, don’t shutdown the conversation. That’s for starters now here is some more:

The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men dont feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of grand gestures, when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.

Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman youre looking at. They dont understand the whole concept of the day I stop looking is the day I die. This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They cant help it. Thats how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when shes around.

You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a mans sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. Its great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and shell know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you dont have to try anymore at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, dont get sloppy just because youve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.

Shes going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you wont get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn’t pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T ‘Dub’ Jackson called “The Magic Of Making Up”. After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.

You might want to check out “The Magic of Making Up” yourself. It is a great course and everyone can benefit. www.TheMagicOfMakingUp.com

http://www.squidoo.com/MagicOfMakingUpFast  stop a divorce

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