Divorce Advice For Men – What If You Really Just Want to Save Your Marriage?
February 9th, 2010
If your wife has told you she is thinking about a divorce, my first thought is you need to keep on your toes so you can protect your interests if you need to. I have written about doing this extensively and if you click my author name link above you will find lots of information on winning your divorce.
This time however I want to talk to the men who are actively trying to save their marriages. My heart goes out to you, it is not the easiest position to be in. Nevertheless here are some tips, and if you keep reading to the end you’ll find a link to a great system for rebuilding relationships and winning your love back.
- You will probably only get one shot at this so tread lightly, don’t try to rush things. She is angry, probably for something you did or didn’t do. She may need some time to get past this. Don’t lay out some big logical sounding plan, emotions are at work here and you need to find a way to tap back into some of the good things that have existed between the two of you in the past.
- Don’t try to bribe her by sending special presents and flowers. Anyone can send flowers — better to put your efforts into a handwritten, sincere, and heartfelt note with the thought of trying to tap into some of the good times the two of you had. The idea is not to sell her that these times are too good to throw away, or that we’ll have them again: rather just bring them up to do battle by themselves with whatever it is that has brought the two of you to this point. Be honest — feel the words you write and do not try to manipulate.
- I’ll say again, don’t try to rush her. Whatever has happened between the two of you has to soften in her mind. But, do be sure to let her know that she is important to you and you want to keep her in your life.
- If you are separated — don’t you dare stalk her. Don’t make plans to always try to be where you think she will be. This is a losing strategy and it will just further inflame her feelings and alienate her. If you do wind up in divorce court these kinds of actions can cost you big time. I do want to mention again, particularly because things have progressed to separation, you want to be sure that you are protecting yourself if the divorce process is in play (see the first paragraph).
John Gray said it in the title to his famous book: “Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus.” I want to tell you again not to try to lay out some totally logical argument as the reason for the two of you to stay married. This is a mans approach and believe me, it won’t go very far no matter what the logic. The place the battle to save your marriage will be won or lost is how well you can tap into and shape her emotions.
Divorce advice for men who just want to save their marriages: there are a lot of psychological methods that can be used to successfully restore your relationship and I’m not talking about manipulation. Learn these methods and use them and you can save your marriage.
I invite you to visit http://www.TheMagicOfMakingupfast.com it is all about saving marriages and putting love and relationships back together.
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