By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men can be all uphill. If you are involved in divorce the feelings that come out from this can be so intense that you may feel like you are about to be emasculated. At that time, many men lash out in anger – they have a testosterone moment and divorce rage erupts.

This anger could range from throwing the new flat-screen TV through the window, to taking a ball bat to the car headlights so she can’t leave, taking a friend with you to push your way into her new apartment to get some things straight, to a black eye, and other such inappropriate behavior. The thing is this type of behavior is just what she needs to in essence emasculate you in a legal way by having you arrested and humiliating you in court. If there is ever a time that you need to rein in emotions and testosterone reactions it is in a divorce situation when you are feeling the most burdened down, the most like you want to do something. The something you must do is control the emotions, but how?

I’ve talked previously about finding power phrases to keep you centered and help you avoid depression, the same kind of response can handle this. The most common way of describing this activity is self-talk.

What kinds of things do you say to yourself?

Most of us have a more or less constant conversations going on with ourselves. We get a break when we are asleep, at a movie, a concert, or other entertainment. It lessens when we are at work or otherwise concentrating and yet it is there. The voices that come up occasionally are new thoughts or inspiration but for most these kinds of thoughts are blocked by the negative voices within. Perhaps by expressions we heard from our families, or from being called names when we were young. Worst of all is our own voices of condemnation when we have failed at something, or didn’t approach a person we were interested in, or take the deal we should have taken because we were afraid.

Some silence those voices by destructive behavior, others can’t get past it and don’t sleep well, and many other less than useful ways. If you are involved in divorce perhaps the voices condemn you for your failings in the relationship, maybe you become the last guy, or last woman that anyone would ever want and all is lost.

When these conversations in your head erupt you need to be ready to answer? You don’t even have to believe these answers when you start as long as they convey a positive message and a positive answer for you. You will come to believe them and come to take positive action on them. Your homework for this article is consider what you want post-divorce and find some dialog to answer the negatives with. Get a motivational quotes book and pull some quotes out that speak to you and have them ready to add to and control this inner dialog with.

So when you are about to take a ball bat to her car or throw the TV out the window have an answer ready – you do not have to act in an insane way that will entrap you, you don’t have to act in a way that will figuratively emasculate you at the end of the divorce.

You need to learn the words to say to yourself to rein things in and put yourself in control. You can take control of yourself and your divorce. This doesn’t mean that everything that happens will be exactly to your liking, but if you take charge of yourself, your life, and your divorce you can get an outcome that you will like.

Successful divorce for men starts with the mental game, it means learning the steps of the process so you never feel lost, it means the mental game and what to say to yourself, it means learning the strategies and tactics that will produce a winning outcome: http://www.formendivorce.com/

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By Renee Pullman

The deck is stacked against men in divorce court. Just last week an acquittance was shutdown by the judge and not fully allowed to tell his story. He had gotten angry, did something stupid, and now his battle is even more uphill.

In dissolving a marriage, emotions are all wrapped around your future and it is tough to see right from wrong. You want to take action and protect your family all the while it is being torn apart by the woman that you loved, or perhaps still do love. You want to protect that relationship and it is painful that it is being torn up.

The facts are you need to protect your future. There is a life for you on the other side of the divorce but not if you throw it away with self-destructive behavior, stupid actions, and doing things to take care of her. Face it – she is out for herself.

What you need to do now is slow your thoughts down and trust.

How do you slow your thoughts down?

The easiest way I know is thought replacement. Your mind is racing off on a tragic end to everything and that is all you can see or think of. This is where you replace that thought with an answer. If you are religious then follow Norman Vincent Peale’s ideas about using scriptures. Your response might b e “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” Not religious, not Christian, no problem, the same strategy works with great quotes that have meaning for you. Great quotes like Emerson’s: “do the thing and you shall have the power,” or Perseus, “he conquers who endures.” Find some meaningful quotes that empower you and use them over and over, as needed, to answer these destructive thoughts. Do this because you need to take smart action and not action out of fear or anger. You need this to anchor you and to keep you looking forward.

Now that you are managing yourself, begin to think of what you want out of this, what you need to support your new life. Take this information and begin to manage your divorce, manage your lawyer. Don’t think you can get a satisfactory outcome by outsourcing your divorce to your attorney, no, no, no. Attorneys are busy and you need to stay on top of it to be sure it is done correctly.

These are the first steps to winning your divorce when you are ready for the next step just click the link or go directly to http://www.formendivorce.com/.

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By Renee Pullman

Your wife has filed for divorce (women do this 2 to 1 over men). Now she seems to want everything that matters to you and a huge chunk of everything you might earn in the future. This is where a lot of men get upset and afraid. This is a shock and awe technique that her attorney has learned at the sleaze school of divorce.

Do women win these kinds of settlements? You bet they do. The man gets hit with this sort of thing and gets stupid. He does some dumb things, she gets a restraining order and he is put out of his house. He looks bad in the eyes of the judge and perhaps even to his own attorney.

The guy is there grieving over lost love and now gets hit over the head. Maybe he’ll start drinking more, get depressed, or any of a number of self-destructive behaviors that all work to her advantage. All of it hurts him.

1. She does not love you
2. She does not really care what happens to you
3. She is out for herself
4. She wants you as her personal ongoing income source

To be honest most divorces are much more civil, but this kind of thing goes on and there are many sob stories out on the net of just this kind of thing. Whether it happens all the time or not, the lessons are there that apply to everyone.

The fact is she will not have your interests at heart anymore; she is rightly out for herself. The same should be true for you and you need to get on this thing and work it to your advantage. This means learning the ins and outs of divorce and how you can use this information to your advantage, for example: when you hire a divorce attorney.

Do you know the questions to ask when you are shopping for an attorney? Do you know enough about the process to help plan an effective divorce strategy – and more important, do you know enough to manage the attorney and manage your case? This is one area where men run into problems. They try to outsource the whole divorce and while you might want to let someone handle it and hope the whole thing goes away, it is a poor strategy.

You can get stuck with thousands of dollars in extras if you don’t stay on top of things and understand it all as it goes down.

Divorce for men doesn’t have to be the go to court and lose strategy that many men seem to use. You really can win this thing. Just click the link or go directly to http://www.ForMenDivorce.com.

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By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men is not always a fair process, women have an advantage in divorce court and you have to deal with it. OK, say that you’ve found a divorce lawyer and he’s telling you what is best, he’s telling you what to do. Wouldn’t it be better if you understood the divorce process and could contribute to it? Wouldn’t it be better if you knew the strategies that work best? Strategies that will keep you from sacrificing things that you hold dear? Yes, you really can lose it all, do you really want to outsource your divorce?

Your lawyer is going to cover a lot of different items about your divorce and it can make your head spin. On the other hand if you prepare yourself and understand the process you will not only already know what he is saying but you don’t have to accept it on blind faith, rather you can contribute winning strategies. You see divorce lawyers are busy people, often what they do is cookie cutter procedures and processes from the other cases they have handled. Sometimes they are just lazy, other times they are so busy that they have to take these short cuts but you don’t have to let them.

By learning the process and learning how divorce lawyers work, you can learn to manage them and manage your case. Understand what is happening and simply do not allow any shortcut that is not part of a winning strategy. Simple sentences in the divorce decree can cost you a lot of money unless you understand them and phrase them to serve you and not your soon to be Ex wife. Sometimes these mistakes are irreversible this is another reason that you need to be an active part of your divorce.

By being a part of the process and managing your lawyer, you will also be able to understand all the fees that your lawyer will charge you. You’ll be able to spot if you are being overcharged or not. All in all, you will be able to make wiser decisions and put in place strategies that will help you win your divorce. You won’t need to go to bed at night wondering what is going on and is the case being handled in the best way. You want to learn the process so you understand what is the best way to go in your divorce.

Finally learn to manage your self and your emotions so that you expect a positive result. This will help you handle yourself in the most effective way when you hit the stress points. All of these things will save you a lot of money, keep you from making life altering mistakes, and allow you to win your divorce.

Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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By Renee Pullman

Divorce for men can be a challenge but it is one that you can rise to. How often have your heard the familiar story, “she took the kids, the house, and the car.” Then the story continues with the support horror story and how she holds you hostage over the kids vitiation. In some cases men talk about being in and out of court every few years to have even more of their already decimated income taken from them. And what does she do with it? Is she visiting the spa and health club to keep her new man happy? You hear these stories all the time but this doesn’t have to be you.

1. The first thing you have to do is educate yourself so you can take control of your own divorce case. You may not be a lawyer but you must come to understand enough of the divorce process that you can manage your case, help set strategy, and manage your attorney. Don’t try to outsource your divorce and expect things to go well for you. Understand the process and take control.


2. Don’t buy into the myth that you are going to drop a fortune. As you begin to understand the process and manage it you will learn ways to save big time. On the other hand the guy’s who try to outsource their divorces normally wind up paying big time. You must remain in control.


3. Believe in an outcome that supports your new life, the life you will have when this marriage is ended, is the next thing to get your mind around. Don’t buy into common knowledge — common knowledge says you are at such a disadvantage in divorce court that you have no chance. This attitude will cause you to lose. Don’t buy into this, there is no advantage that she has (yes the woman does have an advantage in divorce courts), there is no advantage where there is not an effective strategy for men to overcome it.


4. Keep your eyes on the future, begin to plan your new life and look forward to it. Looking to the future will help keep you from wallowing in the past and in any current mess that you may perceive that you have.


5. Plan your divorce strategy. It has been said many times, “failing to plan is planning to fail.” Follow proven and winning strategy and come out of this thing with the settlement that you want.

Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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By Renee Pullman

For most men in divorce — divorce is a maze of heartbreak and betrayal. Most men married never expecting to divorce. Some men earn their divorce papers by being abusive, regular cheating, drugging, boozing, and possibly a few other reasons where the wife is right to get rid of them. But for the rest of the men, for most men, men who are tied up in divorce, perhaps you spent too much time on work, or traveling for other job, and your wife didn’t appreciate what you were trying to do, so she gets the idea that you don’t love her and files for divorce. You don’t deserve it, probably don’t understand it and you either feel betrayed or she has gone off and actually betrayed you with another man. Whatever the reason you have entered the divorce maze.

It is a maze because when you enter in there are many choices and often you will go the wrong way. In a an actual maze this will only hurt your progress, but in the divorce maze there are potentially long term consequences that can cost you the things you care about in life. The bottom line is you need a map, a strategy if you will that will allow you to avoid the dead ends.

The map that you need is understanding the process, understanding what it means when your wife files for divorce, what it means if she gets a restraining order. What it means if you don’t have your map, your strategy and you respond based on emotions, out of anger, rather than in a way that gains advantage for you.

So you must understand the process, you must take control, so that you can work with and manage your divorce lawyer and your case. You must understand the men’s divorce penalty and how to overcome it. If you learn and understand the process you can pick up tip and strategies that can save you thousands of dollars, a lot of time, and keep you out of a lot of extra worry and stress.

If you have children you probably have a lot of concerns for them. It has been shown that a father is very important in a child’s life, yet for some women the love that may have once existed turns to a hate campaign where they seek to block the father or to hold visitation as ransom for the support settlement they want. If you don’t know how to counter this you either may not get custody (if that is what you want) or you may end up paying exorbitant support and either of these conditions are against your children’s interests.

Learn to make it through the divorce maze safely. Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.ForMenDivorce.com is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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By Renee Pullman

Divorce can be difficult to accept. Doctors tell us it puts major stress on the body – but you’ve come to it, it was probably her choice (women file for divorce twice as often as men), and you have to deal with it.

The biggest problem men have in divorce is pushing emotions back and getting their head in the game. Sometimes divorces are won or lost just at this point. You talk to your family and friends – you maybe even try therapy. Then of course, are all the books, magazines, and online articles like this one.

Yet all the wishn’ and hopen’ and you ask how could this happen to me? You get angry, you sulk, threaten, protest, cajole, criticize, browbeat, beg, and some men stalk. There is no bigger losing strategy than all of that. If you still have hopes of getting her back with that approach she will come to see you as someone to be feared and get away from or as a sniveling idiot, not a man to be involved with. The judge involved with the case will see you that way as well, either way you lose.

Face it, at some point you got out of step with each other. You lost the motivation to work together and unhappiness wins everyone is disillusioned. Just get ready because divorce is a big disillusion too but there it is.

No matter how it’s going to turn out whether in divorce court or a miracle reconciliation the best thing you can do is be straight forward and protect your interests. It is not the time to either threaten or just give in. It is the time to look to yourself and have the confidence that you can gain by planning with some real information.

The fact remains that divorce is in the works and you have to act in a sane confident mannor and protect yourself. Even if part of you is saying lets get together, still you must work the ugly divorce process and make it work for you. You need a life and you need to be sure you get out of this divorce the things you need for it.

You need to learn the strategies to handle splitting up the houses, cars, money, children, and the rest. And no matter what you might think or feel about her, she is somewhere planning how to take as much of this stuff away from you as she can. You need to protect yourself from this and from ongoing open ended financial burdens.

So how do you do this? You find resources that will let you take in the process and how it works. Information that allows you to plan and manage your divorce. Information that allows you to plan ahead and protect yourself.

Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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By Renee Pullman

Is your wife cheating? It is sometimes a difficult question to answer. Statistically more than 70% of people whose spouses are cheating never know.

Sometimes it happens like this: you are 10 years, more or less, into your marriage you are somewhere between 30 to 40 something years old. You and your spouse have sank into marriage and perhaps let yourselves go just a little. One day you notice your spouse is beginning to look hot again, she’s been dieting, maybe going to the gym. Maybe there is more or less sex, maybe there is some new twist to the sex. What could it mean? You may need to hire a private investigator to know for sure.

If you decide, or come to learn that your spouse is cheating then you have to decide what to do about it. Amazingly some decide to let it go, others want to patch up the marriage, while still others opt for divorce. Usually men who come to know this kind of truth will opt out of the marriage while a few seek to reconcile. Whatever the case, you need to begin to protect yourself from the real possibility that you marriage is ending.

Get information and advice. You probably will want to consult an attorney and do so before your spouse. Then begin to learn about the divorce process because you need to manage the divorce and stay on top of it. Your divorce will mean more to you than to any attorney. Most attorneys are busy and therefore your participation is needed.

Something you will want to avoid is feeling sorry for yourself. You need to make important decisions, decisions not fired with despair, but clearly thought out decisions that will affect the rest of your life. You have to work through the feelings that you have, the shock, anger, hurt, and grief.

Locating an attorney to work with means getting a free consultation with several. Remember as you do this that you are not buying laundry detergent, you are not just looking for the low price. You want someone whom you can work with and who will respect your wishes in this thing. Check out the costs, philosophies, and his thoughts on how long it will take and chances of success for you coming out of the marriage with the things you want to keep.

A cheating spouse can be devastating but it is perhaps also a sign for you to get on with the rest of your life.

It is true that the husband is always the last to know about a cheating spouse. If your wife is reinventing herself you want to make sure that she’s doing it all for you.

How do you handle a cheating spouse? Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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By Renee Pullman

If you are getting a divorce then you need to take charge of the whole matter. One of the most urgent things to consider are your finances: get control of the money or it will disappear. As you do this, learn everything you can about the divorce process so you can manage your divorce. You want to manage your divorce because no lawyer will ever care as much about its outcome as you do. This is why you want to become a divorce expert.

Since your marriage is ending and your future is uncertain you need to begin to take steps to protect yourself. Save money by reducing unnecessary expenses. Also find personal property that you no longer use and sell it off. This will keep you from losing it in divorce or at the very least avoid having something else that must be ransomed or traded.

Cancel Joint Credit Cards

You must have control of your money, cancel all joint credit cards. These are like having your money sitting out on the table for you’re soon to be Ex to help herself. You may well get stuck paying these cards off.

Cancel Joint Checking Accounts

Since trust is broken in your marriage and in the same way you do not want any joint credit cards you also do not want to retain joint bank accounts. If you do not get control here then your soon to be Ex may decide to clean them out leaving you with nothing. If you decide to close the joint account and open a new one, pick a different bank for the new account. This will keep things on the safe side.

Consider 401K and Pension Plans

Consider how at risk your retirement accounts are. It might be best to stop contributions to them since ½ of what goes in might come to belong to her. If you decide to pull contributions, then after things are settled be sure to get back into the plans.

Taxes and Divorce

Be sure to consider the tax consequences in a divorce. Will you be paying child support and not be able to claim the children as a deduction? You don’t want that so make sure you consider this as you work out custody.

Decisive Quick Action

If you take action swiftly and decisively then you can avoid huge expenses. There is no time for depression or procrastination. If you have moved into a divorce situation then act to protect yourself; protecting your finances means protecting your future. This will matter to you a great deal as you move forward and this is why you must take charge of your finances and your divorce. You must learn the divorce process so you can intelligently manage your divorce.

Find a lawyer who will work with you and help you implement a winning divorce strategy. You may need to interview several lawyers, in fact you may want to interview several as part of your strategy. Your lawyer is your representative to divorce court and to your wife’s lawyer and you should be able to work smoothly together.

Develop a winning strategy to protect your finances during divorce. Divorce for men means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. Divorce Strategy for Men is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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By Renee Pullman

Marriage is intended to be forever. I suppose most of us who marry never expect it to end by divorce. The best divorce advice for men is, learn to be realistic. Half of all marriages end by divorce, and 2 to 1 it is the wife who files.

The partner who files first, particularly if it is unexpected, has a strategic advantage. If you are the partner who has been trying to rebuild the relationship and your partner files for divorce then this can be particularly devastating. If this has happened to you, you need to get past it – it is time to end the relationship. Get past the depression and disappointment and find the right kind of divorce advice to allow you to gain the intuitive.

Here are some things to do.

1. Learn to say positive things to yourself. Often when a divorce hits, it hits self-esteem hardest. You need to counter this with positive things to say for and about yourself. Learn about affirmations. ´Emile Coué popularized affirmations with his famous “everyday in every way I’m getting better and better.” You can start with that one and find others to build you up.
2. Realize that you will have a life on the other side of the divorce. You need to start planning it now. Don’t wait and see what you will have left, but rather plan the life you want with the things from the marriage that you want to keep and move forward learning the tactics to keep them.
3. You need to find a way to quickly separate your finances. It is very possible that your soon to be Ex will run up credit cards and clean out bank accounts. You need to open your own accounts and close the old ones.
4. Don’t agree to move out of the marital house if it is one of the things you intend to keep. Agreements made for expediency tend to be looked on as final by some divorce courts. Divorce courts don’t want to spend time dealing with things that are set. So find another room to move into if necessary or let her move out.
5. If at all possible find a way to tell the children together with your spouse. Let them understand that your feelings for them have not changed. Let them know they are still in a stable place in their lives.

Keep your eyes on where you want to be at the end of the divorce process. This will set up a mechanism in you mind that will help spot the strategic divorce openings and tactics that you need to take.

Divorce advice for men: divorce means learning all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. “Divorce Strategy: Men” is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce. http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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