Although these tips can be used by anyone, they are written primarily for guys. This is only because women don’t typically need nearly as much help as the guys do. Also, please note that for most women, it will take a more gradual approach to getting a date with them. For example, you meet somehow, then get a phone number or email, then get in touch again, and then after at least one or two calls or emails, you would actually set up a first “date”. The purpose of this article is to give some tips that can help you get a date right now. Even though many people like to “warm up” to someone first, the truth of the matter is this: guys and girls will sometimes find themselves sitting around feeling lonely and having no real plans for the evening (or day). Hopefully, this will help you accelerate the process and get you on a date right now!

1. Have a plan. First of all, you need to think ahead a bit. You don’t want to just spend all of your time trying to get a date lined up, and then not have anything planned to do. It will definitely be much easier to get a date, if you have a definite plan. For example, you could simply be planning on going to see a new movie that’s out, or going to see a concert, or just going for a bike ride or walk. Either way, it should be something that you are genuinely interested in doing. This way, there’s a little less pressure about the whole “date” thing. You can invite someone to join you in doing something that you were going to do with or without a date. Once you’ve got some ideas for some things to do, you can move on to the next tips.

2. Call a friend. This one can go several ways. First of all, if you know any girls that are really just friends, you’ve got a huge advantage. For one, there’s always the possibility that the friend could eventually evolve into a girlfriend. This is rare, but it is possible. Secondly, if you have a cool female friend that you can hang out with, it will make you more attractive to other women when you’re out with her since women judge men partially by their valuation from other women. (This is a topic for a whole different article.) Also, the more attractive the woman you are with is, the more women will take interest in you. Either way, it’s definitely good to hang out with female friends. As long as she knows that you’re not on a “date”, and that you are actively looking to meet women, she can help. Just by being there, she will enable other women to let their guards down. Women are much more approachable and easy to talk to if they think that you are already with someone. Another bonus of the female friend is her friends. If she genuinely likes you as a friend, she may introduce you to some of her girlfriends or female co-workers, etc.

3. Craigslist. This one can be very rewarding, but it will take some patience. The good news is that it’s free, and a lot of people use it. Craigslist is one of the most visited websites in the world. The bad news is that it’s very easy for people to create fake personal ads. Some are prostitutes, some are fakes trying to get you to join some adult websites, and some are just strange people that have nothing better to do. Either way, it’s fairly easy to weed out the fake ones. First of all, you can create a free personal ad by just visiting Craigslist.com, and choosing the major city that’s nearest you. Then you just click on which “Personals” you want to post in (like “men seeking women”). Create a simple ad that gives enough information to describe your personality and tastes, but don’t tell your entire life story. Then make it clear that you’re looking for company for tonight, but be specific. Real women will not respond to a guy just looking for someone to come over and have sex tonight, but they may respond if you’re looking for a date to see a play or a concert. Also, do not mention anything about sex! This will never attract “real” women to your ad. It will only attract fakes. Don’t be afraid to post a photo too. If you don’t, you are greatly reducing your chances of anyone responding to your ad. To avoid the “fakes”, it’s simple. If their photos look like model shots, or they are half naked, then they’re more than likely fake. Also, if in their ad, or in their email messages, they talk about sex or just sound way to good to be true, then they probably are. Real women want to know about you. They won’t waste their time describing how hot they are and how much they like you already (how could they, since you’ve never met yet?).

4. Join MySpace & Facebook. This could get quite lengthy, so I’m not going into great detail. The basics are this: Join both websites. They’re both free, and they both have hundreds of millions of people. There’s many ways to meet people, whether it’s from contacting old friends or classmates to chatting in forums or groups where you have common interests. The best quality of both sites is probably the way that the “friend” networks work. To make a long story short, if you have a “friend”, then their “friends” will see you on their “friend” list. People are voyeurs, and love to check out everyone else’s “friends”. This puts you “out there” giving you a little more exposure, which could always result in meeting someone. Once you’ve got this established, you can log on anytime of day and contact “friends” or make new ones.

5. Join dating websites. Believe it or not, there are some decent
online dating websites that are free. You’ve got nothing to lose by putting yourself out there. Join as many as you want. Why not, if they’re free? Just be weary of the many sites that say that it’s “free to join” but then after you join, you find out that you need to “upgrade” to actually contact or be contacted by other members.

6. Visit a bookstore. This one’s pretty simple. Just go visit one of the larger chain bookstores (the kind that don’t mind if you’re hanging out for a while), and simply spend some time honestly checking out some books on subjects that genuinely interest you. Then, when a girl comes to your section, you’ll have something in common to start a conversation about. If things go well, you could move the conversation over to Starbucks over coffee. That’s an instant “date”!

7. What about your co-workers? Again, this one has several facets to it. One is that you’ve already got something in common if you work together, so it should be easier to ask someone out (assuming it’s ok with your boss). Just make it real casual, like “hey, let’s stop for coffee after work tonight”. Try something like that rather than dinner or drinks. That way it doesn’t feel like a real “date”. The advantage of this is that if things don’t go well, then it shouldn’t be awkward seeing her at work the next day. Even if you don’t end up “dating” a co-worker, you may develop a good female friend that can still possibly hook you up with a friend of hers. Besides, any time out with a woman is also giving you more opportunities to develop your “dating skills”.

8. Join a forum. This one probably won’t happen in just one day, but once you get yourself established (like with MySpace, etc.) it’s a great way to meet other people that have common interests. Nowadays, there’s a forum for just about any subject or hobby. For example, if you have a passion for cooking, I’m sure that you can find a great cooking forum to join. Then just stay active on the forum by answering questions, giving tips, asking questions, exchanging ideas, etc. Most forums allow you to create a profile with a picture, so if someone likes some of your posts, they will be interested in checking out your profile. If you live nearby, you could make a date to cook for each other.

9. Exercise. If these tips were in order (which they’re not) this one would definitely be near the top. First of all, exercise makes you feel better, look better, and have more self confidence. Second of all, no matter where you exercise, there are usually other people around (unless you’re in your basement). Go to the beach, the gym, or just walk on the trails near your neighborhood. Just don’t try to talk to someone with headphones on or interrupt a girl that’s obviously in the middle of a serious workout. Bad idea…

10. Try your cell phone. I saved this one for last, since it’s almost a joke. It absolutely can work, but it’s should really be more of an experiment or a last resort. To do this, you’ll need to already have a bunch of women’s phone numbers. Maybe they’re from girls that you met a long time ago, but never really got a chance to hit it off with, or numbers from girls that gave you their number, but never returned your calls. Either way, here’s what you do: Create an event to do, like going to a movie or concert, and then you “accidentally” send a text to all the girls on your phone saying something like “that sucks that you can’t make it tonight”. Of course when they get the message, they’ll be confused, and probably call or text you back asking what’s going on. Then you just explain that you’re “date” or “friend” had to cancel on you at the last minute, and you texted them on accident. But, then you go ahead and invite them to join you by saying something like “hey, would you like to go to the show with me?” I hate to lie, but there’s really no one getting hurt here. Even if the girls that respond are not interested or are unavailable, they may have a friend that is. What have you got to lose?

In conclusion, these tips for getting a date tonight are just the beginning. The bottom line is to think outside the box. Most people think that you need to get all dressed up, go drinking at some expensive nightclub, and try to score some phone numbers only to end up playing phone tag before hopefully scheduling an actual “date”. These tips are more about utilizing other resources to meet girls, and casually invite them to do something now. If the timing is right, and you can hit it off well with someone, it should be pretty easy to get a date tonight…

By: Ryan Farrell
Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

About The Author
Ryan Farrell is the owner of
FreePersonalClassifieds.com

This article may be reprinted as long as all links are active, including a link to the article’s original location which can be found at: www.FreePersonalClassifieds.com

Technorati Tags: Advantage, Bike Ride, Definite Plan, Email, feeling lonely, Female Friend, First Date, get a date tonight, Girlfriend, Girls, Just Friends, New Movie, Phone Number, Several Ways, Truth Of The Matter

Can you learn to be the kind of guy that women pursue? Here’s a clue, women don’t want Mr. Nice Guy. You need an attitude, you need to learn that when you try to be nice you are just seeking approval. Women don’t want to give you approval, they want someone self assured and strong. This doesn’t mean that you come on as some lecherous slime ball. There is a balance and you need to find it. Below is some advice, then check out our featured product and soon women will find you ‘HOT.’

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Top 5 Ways to Present Yourself to Women

By James Brito

If you want to attract women, you have to think like a salesman. Know what your clients want, and tune your product–that’s you–to fit the clients’ needs.

In order to do that, you have to do the same thing all marketers do to capture people’s interest with their products: develop killer PACKAGING. Hey, let’s face it: women judge men based on looks. And who can blame them? Before they can get to know you, they only have visual things to judge you on: your clothes, your height, your body language, your status. We men are just like any other product: in order to sell well, we need great packaging!

It all comes down to women’s evolutionary instincts: find the best mate for them and their unborn children. How do they do this? By seeing which men are strong, which ones are successful, and which ones have high status.

While times have changed, still these instincts remain. One evolutionary scientist, Dr. David Buss, did a study of over 10,000 people in 37 countries, on six continents, and found that women value men based on three big things: ambition, status, and financial resources. Similarly, relationship expert, Andrea P. Roberts, suggests that women determine a man’s worthiness based on 3 “T’s”, or “takais,” a Japanese word that represents good qualities: education level, physical height, and salary level. Quite a bit deeper than having a nice ass and big breasts, isn’t it?

Okay, some of you may be thinking: Well, I’m not tall, and I’m not rich. Now what?!?

The good news is, height and wealth aren’t the be-all and end-all of attraction; they’re just aids to success. It’s similar to saying you want a really expensive car but that doesn’t mean you’d never drive a Honda. In fact, for a lot of people (including women!), when you learn that Hondas have better mileage than Hummers, they can be more attractive! As Roberts writes, “even an ordinary man doesn’t have to be exceptionally rich or powerful to make women want him. It’s all a matter of the women’s perspective if he ends up taller, smarter or wealthier than them.”

Got that? It’s all about perspective: how you market yourself successfully to a woman. Hey, lots of people know that Creative MP3 Players are better quality than I-Pods, but that doesn’t seem to stop Apple from selling I-Pods like hotcakes, does it? So if you’re short, or of average income, but present your positive traits in the right way, it won’t matter: you’ll become the I-Pods of men! As Roberts writes, “Think of Napoleon, Mickey Rooney or Groucho; they are humorous, artistic or politically powerful men who wooed women into their beds and, horizontally, the height issue wasn’t a factor. Polite and persuasive persistence is the best trait.”

So what we have are five areas that we must market effectively if we want to spark an initial attraction from women. After that, it’s up to you to show what a great guy you are: let her know you’re special, unique, one of a kind. That’s what makes you…a best-seller!

1. Ambition

From an evolutionary stand-point, this one makes complete sense. Think cavemen and cave women in the Stone Age, with some of the weaker cavemen seeking a higher station in the tribe. Who do you think the cave women went for? The men who hobbled along meekly in the bottom of the order or the men who strived for more and sought a higher place in the pack? Much of a woman’s desire to be with a man who is ambitious and seeks success, is based simply on survival: The more powerful the man, the more likely she’ll survive and live well. Logically, going for a guy who has no ambition means she’s likely to live in poverty and struggle. Not very appealing, is it?

So you have to present yourself as a guy who’s not satisfied with his station in life. This is good for both you and her. If you’re making $6 an hour at McDonald’s and are content to stay there, not many women are going to be attracted to you. But if you’re making $6 an hour and working your ass off to own your own franchise, taking business classes at night so you can learn how to run a business: well, suddenly you’re not so bad-looking! Believe me, women will give men a chance, they want to give men a chance-as long as they see potential. Know that quote, “Behind every great man is an even greater woman”? Show you’ve got potential and direction, and you’ll get that great woman.

2. Status

Again, evolutionary instincts of survival make women naturally attracted to men of high status. High status=good living for herself and her children. Fortunately, projecting high status does not have to be difficult; according to Roberts, “Wearing the right clothes, especially nice shoes, can go a long way toward portraying wealth. Taking on the unshaken or unworried attitude of wealthy men can project affluence. Hesitant, irresolute, bland men come across as having lower incomes and being less reliable.” Got that? You don’t have to be a powerful, articulate man yourself you just have to project similar qualities.

Some of ways you can show quality include:

* Not putting yourself down. Without being a braggart, talk positively about your accomplishments, job position, and possessions even if they’re not much. If you treat things as a big deal, other people will, too. Conversely, if you downplay your accomplishments and character, women will, too. Your attitude is contagious, so make sure it’s an enthusiastic, enlivening one that people enjoy.

* Act confidently around women. Don’t let women assume a higher status than you. Show them that YOU are the one with higher status. You can do this in a number of ways, including not acting impressed by a woman’s beauty or career (say, she’s a model); teasing her about her clothes or makeup; and asking her to buy you a drink. Chances are she won’t, but just by acting like you deserve it, you raise your status! She’s not such an untouchable goddess in the end.

Remember, as well, that women want to EARN a man; they relish the challenge of luring in a winning catch. So play hard to get: talk to other girls, say you’ve got to be leaving just when things are going well, don’t immediately ask for her phone number. If you act like a man who can have his pick of women, then chances are, you will!

* Knowing people of high status. This is a great one. Get to know the people of power: the club owners, bartenders, maitres’d. Position yourself as a sociable person who’s in the know. When a woman sees you getting special treatment and chatting with high-status people, she’ll see right away that you’re someone of importance. It will also reduce the importance of the other factors, such as height, money, and ambition; immediately you’ve proven yourself valuable.

* Social proof/Female acquaintances. Hey, nothing says, “This guy’s attractive” than having females around him. Of course, the hotter they are, the hotter you look, but even just having average-looking female company can only help: it shows women that other women are interested in you. Do your best to get your female friends and family (sisters, cousins) to come out with you. It’s social proof, and it works!

* Wearing nice clothes. “When a man is well dressed,” writes communications expert, Leil Lowndes, “it signifies his ability to provide for her offspring.” You don’t have to be rich and powerful to wear nice clothes. You just have to show that you’re a man of quality, a man headed towards somewhere who pays attention to dress (something women cna never get enough of). Formal clothes, such as a suit, convey that you are serious about success; you desire good things. So just by wearing a nice sports jacket, dress shirt, and slacks, you let a woman know you’re a man with status. You’re a man who could provide for her and her children.

The colors you wear are vital: Studies show that red, burgundy, and black clothes convey high status. So get yourself some slick black suits or formal wear, a red shirt, and one of my favorites (and girls’!), a sleek burgundy button-down shirt. They all convey regality and strength.

In the case of red, you have the added bonus of sexuality, power, and dominance: definitely good qualities to portray! Go and purchase a nice red polo shirt, or red tie for your suit.

If you enjoy white clothes–the color of purity and cleanliness–then make sure you work on your TAN. White clothes against a dark backdrop make you look exotic, sexy, and well-travelled. You don’t have to be an jet-setting playboy, to look like one!

* Winning body language. Women judge men by the way they move and position themselves; it’s part of their superior communication skills to know what a man is thinking or feeling based on his body language. So, position yourself in the right way: don’t slouch, sit upright, gaze at her knowingly, lean into her to initiate intimacy. I’ve got a great column on body language (http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/live/2006/08/08/body-language-and-dating-part-2/) that will teach you the right ways–and the wrong ways–to project high status.

3. Financial Resources

According to Matthew Fitzgerald, author of “Sex-ploitation,” “Studies with college coeds show that when shown photographs of men dressed in high-status uniforms, ties, expensive watches, etc.) and low-status uniforms, these women would be significantly more willing to enter into relationships with the more expensively-attired males regardless of the man’s physical appearance. To a woman, attraction is simple: green is very good-looking.”

Okay, so not every guy has money for expensive suits and watches, and materialism may not be part of your game. However, if you want to impress women, one of the fastest ways is by wearing snazzy clothes, sporting nice shoes (girls LOVE shoes!), and driving an expensive car. Especially when it comes to designer brands, women are VERY keen at spotting high-quality products. It’s just part of their nature; with expensive possessions come high status and ambition, and a more comfortable lifestyle. Again, this all comes from their instinctual drive for survival and prosperity for themselves and their children. By owning the best, you become the best. At least on the surface.

Ultimately, if you want true love it’s up to you to find women who share the same goals and values. If money and status aren’t the most important things in life for you, don’t chase the girls who do prioritize those things. Don’t go for the shallow, bitchy types who only judge a man by how much he can spend on her. Read my blog on choice (http://www.000relationships.com/towomen/live/2006/07/03/pro-choice) to gain a greater understanding of the importance of choosing only women who fit YOUR purpose, direction, and values.

4. Educational Level

Knowledge really is power, and on top of that, it’s an aphrodisiac! Gone are the days when being smart was acquainted with being a nerd; now, knowledge and intelligence are your friends. It’s the easiest way to money, and the easiest way to success. So show it off a little. Let her know your TALENTS, your interests, your areas of special knowledge. As Roberts writes, “Women are drawn to experts like the Crocodile Hunter, Bill Gates and Chris Rock because they’re experts in their industries.” None of those guys is particularly good-looking, but they’re good at what they do, and parlay their knowledge into success, which drives women wild.

A guy who’s an expert is one who is clearly successful and of higher status. At the very least, having a special knowledge means you have the TOOLS for success, and can provide intellectual stimulation for a girl (which, unless she’s a bimbo with an IQ of 70, is quite important for women). Additionally, just being in school is a great way to show off your knowledge: “If you’re in school, not only are there more women available, but you’ve already demonstrated to them that you’re getting educated. Otherwise, it’s up to you to come across as reliable and credible without making her feel dumb.”

5. Physical Aptitude

Physical height alone is an easy way to catch a woman’s attention, but it’s not the only thing. Again, evolutionary mechanics come into play here. A man who is tall, strong, and athletic is more likely to fend off threats to the woman and her children. He is also more likely to have a strong immune system, which will further aid their chances of survival. So, you can’t blame women too much for valuing these things: in the world of female attraction, it really is a survival of the fittest. Those who show women they are in shape and healthy are much more likely to survive the dating game! Ergo, athletes, bouncers, firemen get the girls.

As for height, it’s all a matter of perspective. We’ve all seen short guys with tall beautiful women. Neil Strauss himself, the best of the best pickup artists, is just 5′6″ yet gets more beautiful women than we can imagine. How? By believing in himself. By positioning himself as a man of high status. By not bowing down to women of greater height or beauty. And by being a guy women know is fun and energetic to be around. In short, he’s got INNER GAME, and when you have that down, nothing can stop you. You may even find yourself dating women who are taller than you!

But remember, presenting a man who’s healthy and strong, willing to stand up for himself and the girl in a fight: that’s the kind of guy who women will go for, regardless of height. Did you know that men with strong immune systems give off pheromone scents that women are instinctually attracted to? If you pay attention to what you eat and go to the gym on a regular basis, you’re going to build your immune system up, and attract women without even trying! So do it, and watch the number of dates you get, soar.

In the end, men are like books: women judge them by their covers. But inside is an even great story. So make your cover captivating, and you’ll become a “best-seller” in no time!

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Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting.  Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT.  If you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she will label you “wimpy”.  So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language?  All you have is a computer an internet connection and membership in an online dating site, right?

1.    Have fun!  Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining.  Make her eager to talk to you again.  Flirting is playful.

2.    Ooze confidence.  Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life.  You need to transmit the “feel good” factor.  An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies.

3.    3.  Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely.  Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself.  She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”.  Do Not be self depreciating.

4.    Listen…listen….listen.  Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions.  Get her to open up and talk about herself.  Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her.  Works wonders!

5.    Don’t be rude.  Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect.  If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.

6.    Send an email after you chat.  This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting.

Don’t try to go too fast.  Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.

Technorati Tags: dating, flirt, online dating, seduce

While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right.  Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart.   Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success.  However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary.  Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace.  Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect.  We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well.  If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed.  Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing.  Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine.  It won’t happen.  Expect flaws and just deal with them.  Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work.  Be honest from the beginning of a relationship.  Write your profile.  Make it interesting but don’t make false statements.  The truth will come out eventually anyway.  If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

Technorati Tags: dating, online dating

Almost everything you read about online dating safety is directed at women but men need to be concerned as well.  Perverts, sexual predators and weirdoes come in both sexes, all sizes, and all ages…as do, liars and cheaters.  So men need to stay on guard, too.

It is common knowledge not to readily give out personal information to strangers.  The reason for not doing so is as large as the number of strangers who want that information.  If you come across a person who is giving out personal information and asking others to do the same, don’t do it.  You don’t know what they want to use it for….and you had better believe they want to use it for something.  That “something” will not be for your benefit.  Men, also, need to guard their real names, addresses, phone numbers, and place of employment.  Do not give that information to anyone online until you are confident that they are who they say they are.

Men, be wary of women who seem too financially needy.  If they ask for money, in any of a dozen ways women can ask for money, cut the relationship off immediately.  They are not looking for love or even friendship….they are looking for financial help.

If a woman gives you a contact number but you cannot ever reach her at that number, beware.  If you always have to page them or text them and have them call you back, this could be a sign that what they are telling you is not the complete truth.

A need to get married and insecurity are other signs men should be very wary of.  If the woman is pushing too hard for a commitment you aren’t ready to make, it might be a good time to head for the nearest exit.

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No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want.  If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you.

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started.  The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs.  There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs.  I don’t recommend the free sites.  The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small.  A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date.

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself.   Now you are all set.  Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends.  You don’t want to appear that desperate.  Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you.  New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you.

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Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

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When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like…even come to love.  That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love.  What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like.  So, in order to find the right girl for you…and she IS out there…you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.

The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s).  What was right?  What was wrong?  What things really made you like the last girl?  Which didn’t?  Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.

If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be.  If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.

Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.

Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service.  After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking…not those who have found or been found.

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OK.  You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile.  You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact.  What now?  How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?  You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is.  It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to her answers.  She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same.  If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Technorati Tags: dating, online dating